Rocky Road Sex

you know your having great sex when........

You have a set of rechargable batteries as backup to your first set of rechargable batteries... Just in case.

Your embarrased to explain to the officer what REALLY caused you to run off the road.

The neighborhood watch group knocks on your door to make sure everything is okay.

Someone asks you about the toy chest in your house and you don't have kids.

When you bought your bed, sturdiness was the biggest factor.... Having posts for the handcuffs was a close second.

You have Adamandeve.com book marked.... On your cell phone.

Your wife has adamandeve.com book marked.... On her cell phone.

Your safe word is Blueberry pancakes. Your reading this and you know what the hell a safe word is.

You've ever had an injury while having sex.

Your wife can't wear short skirts becuase of her calloused knees.

You know that having sex burns off roughly 65 calories per half hour.

Your wife is embarrased when you have to take the computer in to get worked on.

Ride'em cowgirl has a whole different meaning for you.

You have a knot on the top of your head, and are proud of it.

Break up lines

We all know the old stand by that everyone says when your breaking up with someone... "It's not you, It's me." Well that has been played out. Below I will be providing everyone with new lines to chose from. Enjoy.



1. It's you. Not me. (Sometimes honesty is the best policy)

2. We don't have to break up but I'm gonna be sleeping with some other women.

3. I took a long hard look at my future and , sorry, you weren't there.

4. I'm a Star Wars guy. Your a Star Trek Girl. It just won't work out.

5. When we started dating I thought I was a butt guy. Now I figured out I'm a boob man. I'm sorry.

6. This is going to hurt me more then it's going to hurt you. (If it works for spanking why not for breaking up?)

7. We are just headed in different directions. I'm going down the path to success and well.... your going down the one less traveled.

8. We just aren't in the same league as each other. You seem to know everything and I don't.

9. Look, I'm not breaking up with you. I'm just going to be a little busy until the next time I get horny. I'll call you then.

10. I want to test the theory of "If you let something go free and it comes back then it's true love"

11. Honey, the economy is in bad shape. I'm going to have to let you go.

12. I want to take our relationship to the next level. 3 somes!

13. Breaking up is the best thing for both of us. You will soon move on. I have.

14. With time you will start to move on. I "moved on" last Saturday and 2 times on Sunday.

15. Your a very good girl. Sadly, I was looking for a bad one.

16. I feel like I need to sow some wild oats. I can call you when I'm done if you like.



and for the Egocentric



17. I really don't want to waste your time anymore. You should be out looking for someone that's not as good as me.

Womens Eyebrows

Since I did a Public Service Announcement the other day about men's eyebrows and the pitfalls there can be I decided that it was only appropriate to do the same post for females. Yes, it is not only the guys who have issues with their eyebrows. For women though its even more unacceptable since you are already familiar with makeup and taking care of your face. You have no excuse ladies. So for your knowledge, below are some pictures of the issues many women seem to have with their eyebrows.

This seems to be a pretty cute girl. But it is a classic case of bad eyebrows. If she would shape them in a better way (not the hockey stick plucking she did) then she would raise her cuteness level considerably. I guess practice can help.

Just like the guys... Unibrows do not work. Pluck, shave, wax, have a friend hold you down and throw some NAIR in there. Something. But please please please, don't let your eyebrows meet in the middle.

OK, What the Hell? I guess if you love the outline your lips look the same pencil can be used on your eyebrows. I bet she was happy when Sharpie came out with the new thin line marker.

This picture just makes me want to cry. Literally. I have a tear rolling down my cheeks. you can actually see where the original eyebrow was. OMG. WTF. I, I, I, I just don't know what else to say.

Pencil thin, long as all, way higher on the forehead then reality. Come on. There are these things called mirrors. But seriously. I bet she thinks She's got it going on!

Its a man Baby! Well, probably not but with these bushy eyebrows it sure makes me think that. Once I get past that my next question is, "If her eyebrows are this bushy, what about the rest of her?"

This is probably some little kids Great Aunt. Just think of her coming at you trying to pinch your cheeks. As a side note, doesn't it look like 2 sperms coming together to meet?

Mommy Dearest! These eyebrows are enough to scare the child before you even say "NO WIRE HANGERS!"

I predict this will be the new fashion style for eyebrows. Sculpted into your favorite pet.

The most famous female bad eyebrows! Frida!

And finally,

Don't let a child go through this. They aren't old enough to know better. Come on parents.