Things you never want your roomate to say to you

We have all had roommates at some point in our life (well, most of us at least). Here is a list of things that you would hope to never have your roommate say to you.

Here's your underwear back. I ran out the other day.

Would you mind coming in the bathroom and checking this out for me?

Is it a problem if your mom sleeps over tonight?

Did you know your sister has a tatoo on her butt cheek?

Where is my sperm sample? I can't find it in the fridge.

I've been thinking about experimenting with my sexuality.

Rent? What rent?

Spaghetti noodle strainer? I thought that was a.... uh. Never mind.

Your toothbrush is the red one? Really?

and the top thing you don't want to hear your roomate say to you.....

Do you mind if I snuggle in bed with you... It's cold tonight.

Break up lines

We all know the old stand by that everyone says when your breaking up with someone... "It's not you, It's me." Well that has been played out. Below I will be providing everyone with new lines to chose from. Enjoy.



1. It's you. Not me. (Sometimes honesty is the best policy)

2. We don't have to break up but I'm gonna be sleeping with some other women.

3. I took a long hard look at my future and , sorry, you weren't there.

4. I'm a Star Wars guy. Your a Star Trek Girl. It just won't work out.

5. When we started dating I thought I was a butt guy. Now I figured out I'm a boob man. I'm sorry.

6. This is going to hurt me more then it's going to hurt you. (If it works for spanking why not for breaking up?)

7. We are just headed in different directions. I'm going down the path to success and well.... your going down the one less traveled.

8. We just aren't in the same league as each other. You seem to know everything and I don't.

9. Look, I'm not breaking up with you. I'm just going to be a little busy until the next time I get horny. I'll call you then.

10. I want to test the theory of "If you let something go free and it comes back then it's true love"

11. Honey, the economy is in bad shape. I'm going to have to let you go.

12. I want to take our relationship to the next level. 3 somes!

13. Breaking up is the best thing for both of us. You will soon move on. I have.

14. With time you will start to move on. I "moved on" last Saturday and 2 times on Sunday.

15. Your a very good girl. Sadly, I was looking for a bad one.

16. I feel like I need to sow some wild oats. I can call you when I'm done if you like.



and for the Egocentric



17. I really don't want to waste your time anymore. You should be out looking for someone that's not as good as me.