Rocky Road Sex

you know your having great sex when........

You have a set of rechargable batteries as backup to your first set of rechargable batteries... Just in case.

Your embarrased to explain to the officer what REALLY caused you to run off the road.

The neighborhood watch group knocks on your door to make sure everything is okay.

Someone asks you about the toy chest in your house and you don't have kids.

When you bought your bed, sturdiness was the biggest factor.... Having posts for the handcuffs was a close second.

You have Adamandeve.com book marked.... On your cell phone.

Your wife has adamandeve.com book marked.... On her cell phone.

Your safe word is Blueberry pancakes. Your reading this and you know what the hell a safe word is.

You've ever had an injury while having sex.

Your wife can't wear short skirts becuase of her calloused knees.

You know that having sex burns off roughly 65 calories per half hour.

Your wife is embarrased when you have to take the computer in to get worked on.

Ride'em cowgirl has a whole different meaning for you.

You have a knot on the top of your head, and are proud of it.

Break up lines

We all know the old stand by that everyone says when your breaking up with someone... "It's not you, It's me." Well that has been played out. Below I will be providing everyone with new lines to chose from. Enjoy.



1. It's you. Not me. (Sometimes honesty is the best policy)

2. We don't have to break up but I'm gonna be sleeping with some other women.

3. I took a long hard look at my future and , sorry, you weren't there.

4. I'm a Star Wars guy. Your a Star Trek Girl. It just won't work out.

5. When we started dating I thought I was a butt guy. Now I figured out I'm a boob man. I'm sorry.

6. This is going to hurt me more then it's going to hurt you. (If it works for spanking why not for breaking up?)

7. We are just headed in different directions. I'm going down the path to success and well.... your going down the one less traveled.

8. We just aren't in the same league as each other. You seem to know everything and I don't.

9. Look, I'm not breaking up with you. I'm just going to be a little busy until the next time I get horny. I'll call you then.

10. I want to test the theory of "If you let something go free and it comes back then it's true love"

11. Honey, the economy is in bad shape. I'm going to have to let you go.

12. I want to take our relationship to the next level. 3 somes!

13. Breaking up is the best thing for both of us. You will soon move on. I have.

14. With time you will start to move on. I "moved on" last Saturday and 2 times on Sunday.

15. Your a very good girl. Sadly, I was looking for a bad one.

16. I feel like I need to sow some wild oats. I can call you when I'm done if you like.



and for the Egocentric



17. I really don't want to waste your time anymore. You should be out looking for someone that's not as good as me.