Here is a repost of my original Vanilla Sex Blog
The following is a Public Service Advisory from Mr. Bitches:
Since I made a comment today about Jon and Kate having Vanilla sex, I thought it only appropriate for me to point out the top 10 ways to know you are having vanilla sex. I really don’t want anyone to fall into this horrible travesty which often leads to the man going after a 22 year old hottie or the woman to lust after shirtless vampire boys.
1. You yawn during sex.
2. The wife screams “Oh God” followed by “I left the stove on!”
3. Your kid has to give YOU the birds and the bees speech.
4. When someone asks you your favorite position and you answer “there’s more then 1?”
5. You believe the clitoris is still “The Big Myth.”
6. Unicorns, Harry Potter, and multiple orgasms…. All Fiction.
7. You ask your husband if he has any fantasies and he replies “Yea, I have 3 fantasy footballteams, 2 baseball and one basketball.”
8. You own a Sealy Posturepedic bed and you don’t knock over the wine glass on the corner.
9. When a couple talks about spanking you ask them what their kids did wrong?
10. If your husband says he wants to “eat out” and you get your coat and wait in the car.
And my personal favorite:The “rabbit” is a pet you keep in a cage in the back yard and a bullet is what goes into a gun.
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